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Adventures in Babe-Sitting/Transcript
Olive: Now look mysterious. Great. Now hungry. Like it, love it! Okay, now confused. Sydney: How do I do confused? Olive: Perfect! Darn, we're out of film. And I'm out of money. Sydney: Me, too. I already spent I all my allowance. Wait, today's the first Monday of the month. Allowance day. We're saved! Olive: Save that face! I want to use it later. Sydney: Dad, I am so glad you're home! Max: Aw, that's so sweet! You want that allowance electronically or in cash? Sydney: Cash please. Max: All right. Sydney: Thanks, Dad. Max: You know, not so fast. Don't you owe me for those jeans you bought yesterday? Sydney: Who can remember that far back? Max: And didn't I pay for a photo app that makes you look like a pirate? Sydney: We all have regrets. Dad, you left me with three dollars. What can I buy with that? Olive: A small fro-yo. Which I paid for yesterday. Sydney: Dad, my allowance isn't cutting it. I need a raise, so why don't you say a number and I'll say mine and we'll do the old give and take, back and forth. Max: You know, Sydney, when I was your age, I had a job. Sydney: Work with me, big guy! Judy: Oh, hi guys, hope I'm not interrupting, but, Noddle, you left this in my car. I think there's an important assignment on pagage 20. Max: Oh, no. Gimme that. You're sneaking her $20? Mom, I'm trying to teach Sydney some personal responsibility, and you need to respect that. Judy: You're right, I do.(coughing) Cheapskakate. Olive: Your dad's right. We need jobs. Sydney: Well, what about a lemonade stand? Olive: Nah, once you lose your freckles, the market turns against you. Sydney: You hit 10 and the party's over. Hey how about babysitting? Olive: Great idea! And we've got a hook: there's two of us! Sydney: That's right! Double the fun, twice the nice. You see where I'm going with this, girl. Olive: All the way to the piggy bank! So should we call ourselves? Toddler Tamers? Sydney: Silly Sitters? Olive: Shenani-nannies? Sydney: Not there yet. Olive: Not even close. :THEME Olive: Any hits from the babysitting app? Sydney: No. I don't get it. We had our first job two weeks ago and since then, nothing. And we crushed it! Olive: Oh, that baby got sat! Sydney: Oh great, a sake sale! And all I can scrounge up is 75 cents. Olive: Look, Zach Thompson! Sydney: Olive, what are you doing? I changed five poopy diapers for that money! Olive: sorry, but Zach's like the coolest 8th-grader ever! He's on the swim team and voted best hair! I voted for him twice. Sydney: Olive, stop staring. You're embarrassing us. Zach: Hey, I think this is yours. And B-T-T-dubs, I recommend the snickerdoodles. Sydney: Zank you, Thach. I mean, thank you, Tank! Olive: Good job, Sydney! (phone dinging) Sydney: Olive, we got a hit! A woman want us to babysit this Saturday! Olive: Yes! We gotta celebrate! Sydney: We'll take half a cookie. :to 1992 Judy: Max, I'm going out Saturday night, so I called that sitter you like, Marla. Young Max: I hate Marla. She makes me clean my room and go to bed on time. Judy: Oh, that's right. I like her. Young Max: Mom, I don't need a babysitter anymore. I'm a man. Judy: Why, because you no longer have to sit on the pony chair when you get a haircut? Young Max: And other man things! Come on, Mom! Think of all the money you'll save if you don't have to pay a sitter. Where are you going? Judy: To cancel Marla! Congratulations, you're a man. Young Max: You bet I am! Judy: I'll also cancel the gardener. From now on, you're mowining the lawn. :back to present-day Max: Can't believe my baby's babysitting. Judy: Okay, girl bosses. You ready to roll? Sydney: Yep, and we got our secret babysitting weapon. The Fun Funbox. We got puppets, face paint, balloons... Olive: What about the googly eyes? Sydney: Couldn't find them. I even put on these glasses to look. Max: I still don't see why I can't take you guys. Sydney: Because you're so nervous about me babysitting. I don't want a repeat of last time. Max: Again, I had the binociulars because I just happened to be birdwatching in front of the house. Officer Flanagan understood... Why can't you? Sydney: Grandma, help. Judy: Don't worry, girls. You watch your kid, I'll watch mine. :to 1992 Judy: Okay, boys, I rented you a bunch of movies, and you have the number of my new mobile phone. Leo: Whoa! You got the new tiny one! Judy: I did! Now remember, I'm trusting you without a sitter. If you mess up, I will make you regret the day you were born. Have fun. Young Max: Okay, Leo, ready to watch a little kung fu? Leo: Does this answer your question? Ha! Ha! Heeee-ya! Young Max: Not really. Oh, man, the video store put the wrong movie in the box. The gave us "Doll of Death". Leo: Isn't that scary movie about that maniac doll that kills everyone in town? Young Max: (sighing) Yeah. Let's watch it! Leo: Are you kidding? My cousin fainted in that movie, and he's a gravedigger! Young Max: Oh, I got an idea! Let's start the movie and the first person to say "stop tape" loses. Leo: You're on. Young Max: And no hiding behind hand, pillows, or blankies. Leo: Oh man, we're playing street rules! :back to present-day Ms. Taylor: So, Dylan's dinner is in the fridge, bedtime is 9:00, and no visitors under any circumstances. Sydney: Don't worry about a thing, Ms. Taylor Dylan's in great hands. Nobody's more fun than Olive. Olive: Aww, and nobody's more fun than Sydney. Sydney: Aww, so sweet! Ms. Taylor: Kind of in a hurry, girls. Sydney: Oh, right. Ms. Taylor: And if all goes well tonight, I can guarantee you two a lot more work. Olive: Really? Ms. Taylor: I happen to be president of the PTA and know a lot of people, people who need a break from their kids. Oh, that came out wrong. There he is now. Sydney: Hi, Dylan. I'm Sydney. Olive: And I'm Olive. We're your baby-sitters tonight. Dylan: Whoa! There's two of you? Sydney: That's our slogan: Sydney/Olive: "Two for one and twice the fun! Ah!" Dylan: All right. Ms.Taylor: Good night, sweetie. Listen to your sitters. Sydney: So, Dylan... Are you ready for the best babysitting experience of your life? Yay! Sydney/Olive: Yay! Ms. Taylor: Yay! Sydney: Wizard, we didn't mean to trespass on your magical forest. Olive: Yes, please don't put a curse on us! Dylan: Too late! And now, I turn you into a cow! Sydney: Moo! Moo! Dylan: And I turn you into a pig! Olive: (snorting) Oink, oink! Sydney: Moo! Moo! Olive: (snorting) Oink, oink! (animal noises continue) Olive: Sydney, Sydney! Sydney: I am not Sydney. I am a cow. Moo! Moo! Zach: So, what's going on? Sydney: Zach. Olive: Thompson. Zach: Hi. What's up, little bro? Dylan: What are you doing home? Zach: My buddy flaked on me, so I'm gonna be chilling here. Have fun on the farm! Dylan: Come on, let's keep playing! Sydney: Just a sec. (girls screaming) Sydney: So Zach's your brother? Dylan: Yeah. Olive: What's he like? Dylan: Stinky. Olive: Can you be more specific? Sydney: Why doesn't he babysit you? Dylan: 'Cause we fight. Why are we talking about him? I want to have fun! Sydney: You're right, Dylan. Tonight is about you. Or should I say the wizard? Dylan: Yes, and the wizard wants a goblet of unicorn tears. Sydney: Coming right up! Cry for me, unicorn, cry. Olive: Okay, I'll just think about Zach walking in on us. (wailing) Dylan: No, I meant I want apple juice. Sydney: Oh, why didn't you say so? One apple juice coming right up! Dylan: And make it quick! Sydney: Let's not push it, Dylan. Zach: Hey. Sydney: Zach, hi. We met upstairs. I was the cow. Moo! So... You're eating a sandwich. Zach: Ham and Swiss, or as I like to call it, a Zach snack attack. Sydney: I'm gonna call it that, too. Unless that's weird because my name's not Zach. I wish it were Zach. No, that's weirder. I need juice. Max: Oh good, you're back. So, how were the girls when you dropped them off? Did you meet the parents? What were they like? Were they nice? Judy: I don't know. It was hard to hear over the stray dogs and the wood chipperer. Max: What? Are you messing with me? Judy: Yes, and it's getting way too easy... Chillax, she's just babysitting! Everything's fine. Max: Of course it is. You're right. I'm gonna call her. Judy: Oh wait, before you do, can I peep your phone? There's a new feature I want to show you. Max: Yeah? What's the feature? Judy: Parental control. Get some. :to 1992 (woman on TV screaming) Leo: Ahh! Young Max: we said no pillow. (chainsaw buzzing on TV) Leo: Ahh! Young Max: We said no hands. Admit it, Leo, you're scared. You want to stop the tape. Leo: Never. (evil cackling on TV) Leo: Okay, I'm done. Turn that thing off! Young Max: Yes! I win! I wasn't scared at all. What are you doing? Leo: I'm going home. Young Max: What? You can't leave me alone! Leo: Then come with me. Young Max: I can't! Then my mom will think I'm too scared to stay by myself. Leo: You are too scared to stay by yourself. Young Max: Well, I can't let her know. If she finds out I'll have a babysitter until I really am a man. Leo: Sorry, I gotta go call my dad. Young Max: Change your mind? Leo: No... Walk me to the phone? :back to present-day Sydney/Zach: (Both laughing) Zach: You'd never think a tiger and a parrot could be friends. But it gives the world hope, you know? Sydney: That is so deep. You wouldn't expect that from someone who spends so much time with their head in the water. Zach: I know, people underestimate me. (monkey chattering) Zach: Hey, this one's my favorite! The monkey farts himself out of a tree. Sydney: Hope, now humor. You have so many sides! Olive: Oh, hi Zach. I'm Olive. We met earlier. Zach: Sure, I remember. Olive: Really? Zach: Yeah. You were a pig and she was a cow. Sydney: He's so observant! Olive: Sydney, can I see you for a sec? Sydney: But, but, but-- Be right back. Olive: Sydney, you left me all alone with Dylan. what happened to, "Two for one and twice the fun"? So far it's been "One for one and none the fun". Sydney: You're right. You're right. I got distracted by Zach. And I'm not gonna make any excuses but it was the hair and the eyes. But mostly the hair. Olive: Just go upstairs and I'll get the juice. Sydney: Olive, the kitchen's that way. Olive: Really? For some reason, I want to go that way. Sydney: Let's make a pact. From now on, neither of us try to hang with the Zack attack. It's what he calls ham and Swiss. Olive: That's so cute! Sydney: It's adorable. But we're not gonna hang with him. Olive: No way. (doorbell rings) Zach: Hey! Sydney: Whoa, those are Zach's cool friends. That's Mia and Hudson and Whitney! Olive: (gasping) Whitney's an influencer! She's the reason I'm wearing this lip gloss! I don't even like it, but I'm under her influence! Sydney: Wait, Zach's mom said absolutely no friends. I think we gotta ask them to leave. Olive: I think we do. Zach: Hey, listen, I know my mom probably said no friends, but you guys are cool, right? Sydney: Well, actually... Olive: Yeah, um-- Zach: Hey, come have a slice with us. Sydney: Love to! Olive: Totally! Sydney: I can't believe 8th-graders asked us to hang! Olive, we're on the brink of coolness. Olive: I'm excited, too, but I'm not showing it, because I'm practicing being cool. Sydney: (sighing) But we have to do a good job with Dylan, too. Olive: No reason we can't do both. Sydney: Right, now set your face to babysitter. Sydney: Hey, Dyl! Olive: Hey, buddy! Dylan: Where have you been? Sydney: Coming up with a new game we can all play. It's called, eh... Olive: Space... Sydney: A-Astronaut. Dylan: How do we play? Sydney: Good question. Olive, why don't you tell him. Olive: (laughing) Well... First, we're gonna do some light stretching. And Sydney will tell you the rest. Sydney: Well, you're the space astronaut-- Dylan: Yeah! Am I gonna save the planet? Sydney: You took the words right out of my mouth. But you've been caught in a force field! Dylan: There's no scape! Sydney: That's right. Now, we're gonna go downstairs and... Dylan: Look for the code that shuts down the force field? Sydney: You've played this game before. Max: All right, Mom, I've learned my lesson. I'm not gonna call Sydney. Now where'd you hide my phone? Judy: Tough cookies. Not telling. Max: You are so inmature. Let's play the hot and cold game! Judy: Cold. Cold... Warm, warmer-- Oh hot! You're burning up! Max: Aha, it's in the garage! I knew it! (door locking) (doorknob jiggling) Max: Really, Mom? This is why we have trust issues! (all laughing) Mia: And then Christine trips and her tacos fly right into Amber's backpack. (all laughing) Sydney: That is so Christine! Zach: You know her? Sydney: Huh? Yeah, everyone knows Christine. She's got the hair... and... the teeth. Zach: Hey, let's play a game. Whitney: I know! Two truths and a lie. You guys know how to play, right? Sydney: (laughing) Do we know how to play? Olive: (quietly) Do we? Hudson: I don't. Sydney: That is so Hudson! (all laughing) Sydney: I can't believe we're playing a game with them! Olive: We are so in! Dylan: Hey, you guys ditched me! Olive: Dylan! What are you doing down here? Sydney: Hey, buddy! How about we talk over here? Sydney: So, how'd you get out of the force field? Dylan: I turned the light off. I know what you're doing. You're trying to hang out with my brother and his friends. Olive: Well, that's a pretty big accusation. Dylan: I don't know what that means, but I know they're not supposed to be here. And if you don't get rid of them, I'm going to call my mom. Sydney. Are you giving us an ultimatum? Dylan: I don't know what that means, either. But I'll going to say yes. Sydney: Olive, what are we going to do? If Dylan tells his mom, our babysitting careers are over. Olive: But if we kick the 8th-graders out, they'll hate us. And I had big dreams for us, Sydney. Big dreams. Sydney: Sitting at their lunch table-- Olive: I didn't even want to say it out loud. (phone ringing) Sydney: Hi, Dad. Max: Hey, Syd, just checking in, seeing how everything's going. Sydney: Uh, Dad, can't talk. (laughter in background) Max: What's going on? I hear laughter. (gasping) Older boy laughter! Sydney: The kid's brother had some friends come over, but they're not supposed to be here. Dealing with it. Gotta go. Max: Syd? Syd! S-- Judy: Hey! How'd you find your phone? Max: I remember your old hiding spot. I also found my old slide whistle. Why would you hide this from a little boy? (whistling) Judy: 'Cause one of you had to go, and I already paid for your braces. to 1992 (door unlocking) Young Max: Who's there? I have a Wiffle bat and I'm not afraid to use it!(sighing) Oh, Mom. Judy: Max, what's going on? Why are you dressed like that? Young Max: Dressed like what? I always wear this when you're not home. Judy: I see, and where's Leo? Young Max: Leo got scared and went home. Judy: But not you. You were fine, right? Young Max: Oh yeah! But you know... If it makes you feel better for me to have a sitter, it's okay. Judy: Really? You'd do that for me? That's very considerate. Not that you need one. After all, you are a man. Young Max: Don't you forget it. Judy: "Doll of Death"? Young Max: Where? Save yourself! back to present-day Sydney: Olive, I think we both know what we need to do with Zach and his friends. Kick them out. Olive: Let them stay. Sydney/Olive: You're right. Zach: Hey listen, sorry to bail on you guys, but Whitney just heard about a party over on Maple, so we're gonna roll. Sydney: Oh, no! Could this be more perfect? Olive: We're saved! (knocking) Zach: Who are you? Max: I'm from Neighborhood Watch. There's been some complaints in the neighborhood, so we're shutting down all parties in this vicinity. Zach: Ah, man! Sydney: But not the one they're going to... on Maple! Max: Maple, Elm, Oak... All the tree streets. Zach: Guess we'll just have to stay here. Max: Sorry, this party's gotta end, too. Hudson: This isn't a party. It's just a kickback. Whitney: It's not even a kickback. It's a hang. Max: Kickbacks, hangs, potlucks... they're all going down. Whitney: My dad's president of the Neighborhood Watch. What's your name? Max: Uh.. my name? My name is Jerff... Fergelmeister. Whitney: Can you spell that? Max: No. I've gotta check in with headquarters, but I need whatever this is shut down. Sydney: Well, you heard Jerff. Sounds like he meant business. Hudson: Forget Jerff. There's no way a hang is on the list... Whitney: Yeah, we're staying here. Olive: (sighing) What now? Sydney: Let's put on our big girl pants and do what we need to do. Olive: Don't worry, Syd. I got this. (older kids laughing) Olive: Zach, we have something we need to say. Zach: Hey, guys, guys. Quiet. Olive has something to say, and it sounds really important. Olive: That's right, um... It would be really nice if you guys would consider-- and this is just a request, not a demand. Actually more like--- Sydney: You guys gotta go. Zach: What? Sydney: Sorry, Zach, but... Your mom made us responsible and we promised her there wouldn't be any friends over. Whitney: So you're kicking us out? That's such a 7th-e gradmove. Mia: We thought you were cooler than that. Zach: Wait, no, they're right. My mom left them in charge, and I don't want too get them in trouble. Sydney/Olive: Awwww! Hudson: Let's go. We can hang at my place. Sydney: Catch you later! Olive, where are you going? Olive: Again, just wanting to head that way. Sydney: Come on. Now let's go tell Dylan his babysitters are back. (phone dinging) Sydney: And just in time. His mom's five minutes away. Sydney: Hey, D-Man! We're back! Olive: And all those kids are gone, so it's all about Dylan! Dylan: I don't care! You guys are the worst babysitters ever! We didn't even finish the space astronaut game. Olive: We only have five minutes to make him happy. Tick-tock, tick-tock! Sydney: We can still finish the game now. Dylan: I don't wanna. Sydney: well, I guess we're just gonna have to finish the game ourselves. Now where were we? The space astronaut had just escaped from the force field. Olive: But since he's not here, we the two aliens can finally conquer Earth. Sydney/Olive: Mwah-ha-ha-ha! (both evil cackling) Dylan: No, you won't! Sydney: We won't? Dylan: No! Space astronaut to the rescue! You aliens are trapped! Sydney: He's right! We are! Olive: There's gotta be a way out! Dylan: Not if I wrap you in a space web! Sydney/Olive: (screaming) Ms. Taylor: Dylan, I'm home! Where is everybody? (shaving cream gurgling) Ms. Taylor: Oh my! So looks like you had fun! Dylan: Best babysitters ever! Sydney: Please, tell your friends! Sydney: Sorry, we're booked for the next six Saturdays, but we'll call you back if anyone cancels. We are on fire! Olive: We should change our slogan to "Two for one and twice the price". Sydney: What happened to the fun part? Olive: You're right. Success has gone to my head. friends pass by Olive: It's the gang! Hey, guys! It's us! don't answer and leave Olive: What? They don't even remember us. Sydney: Who needs 'em? Zach: Hey, Olive, Sydney! Have a great day! Sydney/Olive: Zank you, Thach! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts